Sam's Club Rude Cashier

Over the weekend my wife's father bought us a membership to Sam's Club. We already have a Costco membership, and discount cards for every grocery store, but, hey I like to shop. I know it's gay, but I like it. Sam's Club has a nice variety of items. Costco is good too, but they only have a few types of coffee, and I like a good hazelnut. Sam's obliges, with many to choose from.

Just this past week I made a foray into the Sam's Club on Route 1, Nassau Park.

After grabbing a few delicious items and a couple of essentials, I happened to notice a big fat sonofabitch standing in front of the area where rotisserie chickens are sold. He had his tie undone and he was waiting for the chickens (hundreds of them) to stop spinning so he could slaughter them further. I would not be surprised to find that he had utensils in his pocket and a plate hidden in his underwear so he could have at it right there.

There was no employee in sight but I thought, "How rude, to just stand there and wait. Let the guy whoever he is, Mr. Chicken Unslinger, do his job in peace, Fatboy. You'll get your chance. Now move your sweaty plate in your underwear ass somewheres else for a while. PLEASE!"

A few minutes later, I saw a line forming behind him. Of about 30 people. Possibly they were stuffing these chickens with Wii's. The chickenslinger came out and pulled the chickens off of their spinning death machines and placed them in cartons. No sooner would he place a carton down than it was grabbed up by someone in the crowd. I didn't see Mr. Sweaty Assplate get his, but I did notice some blood on the floor, so he may have inadvertently eaten a couple of other people in line, and not in a good way.

As much as it concerns me that I might not score what I want to score when a line begins to form in front of what I want, I waited a bit longer. I did not want to be rude. When there was no line, I walked up and took one as the fine gentleman chickenslinger was walking away, and I said to him, "Thanks." He glared at me like I was the reason he had this job that he loved. What can you do? I tried.

Shortly thereafter I checked out. I picked a line that seemed to moving all right. The lady working the cash looked a bit flustered. Dyed blond, stocky, early 50's, rough around the edges. Rode hard and put away wet.

She put her hand out and said, "Give me your card."

Not exactly polite. But I'm not keeping track.

Then she put my order through, and I wanted to keep things friendly, so I asked her if she was having a bad day. She glared back at me without answering. I think I should have said, "Nice dye job, did you get it at Kennections or the Hairport?"

I ran my debit card through and chose $100.00 cash back. I like to do that, so I don't have to pay the bank fees.

Suddenly she looks at me and exclaims, "Oh, one hundred dollars cash back, NICE! I just opened, and you want one hundred cash back?! I don't have 100 dollars cash to give you. You are supposed to tell us this before we ring you through!"

I said, "Sorry, I was not aware of that policy." To which she pointed to the bank machine and said, "That is what the ATM is for."

I replied, "That will cost me 3 bucks or more."

To which she threw her arms up in disgust and said, "Whatever."

I then stared at her and said, "You will get me my money and you will give it to me."

And she did. The power of suggestion is very strong.

My point regarding the story above is who are these arseholes in customer service jobs that don't give a shit about customer service? I know the jobs are kind of shit sometimes, but you want to move up. You need to enjoy your life, even if it's spent ringing shit at Sam's Club. Change your attitude, act like you care, somebody just might notice and offer you something better.

The dyed blond cashier at Sam's earns the Dickfor award for this week!

G Spot Out!

Dunkin Donuts or Dunkin Dimwits?

We'll see. I am thrilled to see a new store in Trenton. I'm even more thrilled that it occupied an already standing empty retail establishment and I'm completely on my knees thanking God that it is a Dunkin Donuts. I love their coffee and their donuts are good too.

What I like about Dunkin Donuts is it is the workin man's donut shop. No Wifi, no fancy music, no stupid name for their beverages and no burnt coffee. Dunkin Donuts rocks.

On my first visit I spoke with, I believe, the owner. I noticed there were no tables and he assured me they were on the way. I told him that my wife and I would be visiting as soon as they get them in. He then told me that half of the store would be a convenience store. I guess that's okay.

I purchased my coffee and bagel with cream cheese and of course an old fashioned donut and I was on my way. That was yesterday.

The other thing I noticed yesterday in the parking lot behind the D&D there were a few beer cans just tossed in a pile with some Chinese food containers. I thought,"Well that will get cleaned up."

This morning I was in need of more D&D and I parked my car and the same beer cans were laying on the ground.

So when I completed my purchase I mentioned to the woman behind the counter, who appeared to be in charge, and quite possibly could be the wife of the owner, "Hey just wanted you to know there are a bunch of beer cans that sitting in the parking lot. They have been there for a couple of days."

She looked at me and said, "Yeah there is a broken bottle out there on the street in front of the store too." I looked and sure enough there was.

To which I replied, "People don't like to come to places that look rundown, and litter does not look good." She smiled, looked through me and said, "We are working on it."

I answered, "Well you're not doing a very good job."

I really hope that the Chinese Restaurant and the D&D get their act together and clean up around their property. If they don't I won't be going there anymore, and I'm sure many other people will lose interest, too.

I guess, don't work on it. Just do it. Pick that litter up. This is your business. People are not going to walk over broken glass for a donut, and if they see enough refuse and beer cans they might just not want to park their car in your parking lot. Why? Because people who drink beer in the open in a Dunkin Donuts parking lot generally are not good people and if you see cockroach refuse, the cockroaches are not very far away.

So please, please, please Mr. D&D on the corner of Olden and Hamilton, at the old "Cook's Glass" business, please clean up your corner.

With love and cream and sugar,
G Spot out!

I hate the heat! Man do I hate that shit!

I'm watching TV and I see that there is unrest in an African country. They show all these wild-eyed crazed lunatics running through the streets screaming. Sorry I was looking out the window, that's Trenton.

On TV there are these wild-eye crazed lunatics running through the streets screaming. It is some African country. They've killed like one million of each other and it's still not enough. No wait that's America. My apologies, I'll get it right soon.

On BBC there are these wild-eyed crazed lunatics running through the streets screaming, in some African country. There are bodies everywhere. It is out of control.

And guess what?

IT IS REALLY FUCKING HOT!!

People say it's politics, or religon, or hunger. I say sometimes people are just really fucking HOT! It's like, "HOLY FUCK IT'S HOT. I'm going to kill someone if it does not cool down. Your body heat offends me. DIE DIE DIE.

I understand. My favorite time of the year is the nice cool fall. Which is now sometime in December thanks to Global Warming.

I mean there are days I just want to scream FUCK!!!!! and I do. Because it is so FUCKING HOT! I've been screaming FUCK a lot lately but it does not seem to help.

The highest temperature every recorded in New Jersey (110) where I live now, or New York(108) where I used to live, or Toronto(105) where I lived for 10 years, or on Monaghan Road in Peterborough(96) where I used to used to live.

This temperature makes me really mad. Not enough to kill but I could likely beat someone silly because of it.

I was always a bit of a grump and a baby. But since moving to New Jersey, which looks to beat my younger years highest temp by about 14 degrees, I've gotten much grumpier. My poor wife listens to my whining all the time.

I cry like a baby, "It's so hot. It's too hot. It's killing me."

To which she answers "It is summer."

Not my summer.

Okay this is not all about me, well it is really but let's pretend for minute. I feel bad for all those Mofo's over in those hot African countries.

Like: Libya Highest recorded temperature (135.9)

FUCK!

Hoooaaa. I feel hot just thinking about it.

Does Libya have any problems. I think so. Why?

It is way too fucking hot.

And what is with the .9.
I was already on a murderous rampage at 135.
The .9 just adds to the body count.

I was watching TV the other night about how the penguins are suffering. Fuck the penguins, I'm suffering here, right now. Someone had better make a big ice machine and get things back in order or order up a large helping of body bags.

Funny writing this actually made me feel cooler. Screaming fuck does not. I shall write more and scream fuck less. Which should make everyone happier.

FUCK !
THE HEAT
FUCK!

Sorry it is too hot to be polite!

G SPOT on the REALHOT OUT!

Sometimes People Don't know any Better

Last weekend I walked out my side door, because a truck had been idling for an inordinate amount of time next to the house and diesel fumes were filling our upstairs.

I looked to the right and there sitting under a tree on the street was a NJ Transit Tard Cart (the short bus.) Just as I headed toward it, the engine shut off. I proceeded to walk around the bus picking up the typical pieces of litter that get casually dropped by most who travel through these parts: chip bags, glass bottles, freezies, and all other assorted types of shit. The guy in the bus got out and said hi to me, in fact, he said even said good morning and extended his hand, and said "My name is Tim." I shook his hand, told him my name and continued to clean up my hood. He took a sip from his big can of Red Bull and walked away toward the corner.

I noticed that he was talking to another fellow who was driving a big SUV. Then I heard the familiar rattle of a large can as it landed on the street corner not 20 feet from me. I was a little flabbergasted. While I know it is not personal, would you not think Tim would have carefully set it down, or tossed it somewhere it would not attract my immediate attention? Especially since he had watched me picking up litter.

I'd had it. I was not angry, just tired and irritated. So I went over and picked up the can, and his friend noticed me. I thought, oh boy, rumble time.

I then said to Tim, "Hey, what's up with this, dude?" He turned quickly and said, "Sorry. I was aiming for the sewer."* To which I answered, "That will just clog up the sewer." I added, "I'm from Canada this kind of stuff does not often happen."

The guy in the SUV happily offered, "Yeah, I went to Toronto, and it is clean there, man. What the fuck is wrong with us? This is all fucked up. Why do we have to do this? He's right."

No, he was not being sarcastic. He actually agreed.

Tim then reached out for the can in my hand. I said, "Don't worry about it, dude. I got it. You're not the only one, look at the street." The street was covered in litter. I added, "I'm not trying to give you a hard time. Everyone does it. But maybe you could try to put it in a garbage can next time?"

He wished me a nice day and I moved on. Nothing funny here. Just a thought. I think they actually felt kind of bad, and they might just think about it next time they throw litter. It probably won't stop them, but they will think about it. Sometimes it is the thought that counts.

G SPOT on the LitterDownLow!


*I do, however, like the fact that he was aiming for the sewer. I guess close counts in the Litter Toss. Where is the logic in that response?

A Tale of Two Trentonians

My wife and I are sitting in our little backyard, that sits adjacent to a reasonably busy intersection. It is a beautiful holiday Monday, and a few of the neighbors are having guests over for a barbecue.

I'm enjoying a nice cold beer, Chrissy who is pregnant, is admiring my nice cold beer and drinking an iced tea or something of that nature. We can hear a group of people talking loudly on the other side of the street. I just can't believe how beautiful the day is. I'm really not too good at relaxing, not sure why, I think I have restless ass syndrome. But on that day, I was getting used to the chair, in the backyard, and the cold beer in my hand.

I had just been out to the local thrift store and had an odd experience. A young black gentleman who works at the thrift store is usually quite friendly and always says hello. Not so, on this day. This day I looked at him, and was about to say hello, and he gave me the "I don't talk to crackers" look. Then I realized there were a couple of new young guys working with him. Well, thugs really. They were walking around like they owned it and tossing stuff everywhere, and giving menacing looks.

He did not want them to think he was uncool. No harm to me, I can take it. Peer pressure is a bitch and does not make any sense. I was discussing this with Chrissy, when suddenly I see a beer bottle coming over our fence and landing a couple of feet from us. It was tossed pretty hard, so I knew it came from the other side of the street. My wife is pregnant, so I feel protective, and most of our yard is covered in slate, except, luckily, where the beer bottle landed.

Before that bottle stopped rolling I was out of my seat and through the back gate. I didn't know what to expect. One person, a gang, whatever. I was pissed.

Then this skinny young black dude, who is about 25 years old runs up to me and, gets right in my space, inches from my face, and says, "It was me, I apologize like a man!"

I said, "What the fuck did you, what the fuck?!" I was barely coherent and wanted to kill him.
I said, "My wife is pregnant." He turned and he apologized to her, and he actually seemed to mean it.

Then he leaned into me more aggressively and said "I'm apologizing like a man."

Translation: "Who the fuck are you getting mad at me for throwing trash in your backyard in broad daylight. The world is my trashcan and if you say another word about it, I'll fuck you up."

I was dumbfounded: his stance and tone did not match his words, but he did utter them, so I shook his hand and said, "All right. I don't get it but all right."

He had been standing with one of my neighbors, who apologized too. For real. He was stunned I think.

Then I went back in our backyard and I retrieved the beer bottle and I gave it back to Mr. Aggresso. He just stared at me, so his friend took the bottle. I wanted him to know that his apology was horseshit.

That the tale of my first Trentonian.

And here's the tale of my second Trentonian:

Next door to us there was a wonderful Spanish family. Quiet, pleasant, polite, thoughtful, and well, normal. They just did their thing and didn't bother anyone.

A couple of weeks ago they had a baby shower on a Saturday. The party started around 5 pm. Around 8pm I noticed a number of the party kids close to our bushes at the side of the house. I went out and found reeking puddles of urine everywhere. I was not too happy about that.

I made my way next door and found my neigbor, the soon-to-be father. And I said, "Hey buddy, I don't mean to be a jerk, but can you please ask everyone to have their kids stop peeing on my bushes?"

He looked at me and said, "No problem. I'm sorry. Would you like some food?"

Would I like some food? I had been smelling that awesome food since the night before when they started cooking. Before I could answer, he had handed me a heaping plate of steaks and rice.

Another fellow offered me a beer. Chrissy was thrilled with the food, as she described (among other things) in her blog.

So, who would you rather have in your neighborhood, Trentonian #1, or Trentonian #2?

Trenton is fucked the fuck up! I pray that it gets better.

Pretty much any day or night, I see/hear/pick up broken glass, thanks to the neighborhood thugs who smash their booze bottles. I hear their thug music pounding up and down the street, and I listen to them scream and yell and set off firecrackers and ride dirt bikes and ATV's. These wasters do nothing for our neighborhood, or society in general, but most of the other neighbors and parents of these wasters just turn a blind eye.

Now back to the baby shower night, I had at least 3 neighbors tell me that they called about the noise around 11pm, the noise being the music from the baby shower. In fact the dispatcher told them at least 15 people had called.

Why don't these people call when the wasters are creating havoc?

Well, all those who called to complain about the music should be happy as our wonderful Spanish neighbors have moved. They decided one night to have a party and celebrate the arrival of a new life, and a bunch of people in the neighborhood kicked them in the balls. And fuckin' hard too.

Priorities here are fucked.

I'm tired of the stupid neighbors with the stupid priorities, and I'm even more tired of the stupid wasters. So, to all of you, you are on notice: this cracker is watching you.

G SPOT ON THE DOWNHIGH OUT!

Mayor Doug Palmer First White House Director of Urban Policy?

I'm of two minds on this one. If Obama wins, and Doug were offered, and took President Obama's Director of Urban Policy appointment, he would be out of our hair, and we could possibly start to move in the right direction as a city. But after years in the corporate world, I never quite understood how people fall (and fail) upward all the time. It just isn't right.

I don't think he should continue to be Mayor of Trenton, and I don't think it's fair to not to warn the rest of the world that Doug is pretty much all hot air and ego and bluster and all the shit that people don't really need.

My wife hates my analogies but I love them and this is my blog so I win. Sorry Chrissy: more analogies for you to hate.

My analogy on this one is, if Dougless H(elp yourself) Palmer was a contractor and he did really shit work and you knew that he was placing a bid to do his shitty work on an even greater scale of shitasticness for an even more important client that you would still have to deal with, wouldn't you make a quick phone call?

It's not about destroying somebody's ambitions because you simply don't like them; it's about shutting down the Shit Factory before it floods the nation with more faulty ideas and half-assed shitacular plans.

Recently Senator Obama stated that after he is elected, he intends to appoint the first White House director of urban policy, and since Doug mentioned it in his oh-so-important press release about his gushy farewell message to the US Conference of Mayors, after which, he had an oh-so-intimate meeting with the presidential hopeful, Doug must think he's in the running for the appointment (download the press release here). “I want you to be able to call up somebody in the White House who knows something about cities,” Obama said, "to help navigate bureaucracy and get things done."

I think the key question you have to ask yourself, Senator Obama, is did you really investigate the man you're considering appointing? Mayor Doug Palmer is a master at creating bureaucracy. You need only to look at the recent ongoing debacle concerning Trenton's (former) police director's residency to get an understanding of the bureaucratic shitticane Dougie Not-So-Fresh is able to create, costing his constituents a shitload of money in legal fees. "Fuck the Citizens." That's Doug's urban policy for you, Senator.

I think the person for this position would be one that welcomed the thoughts of others and did not look to gather a collection of yes men/women to rubber stamp his ideas, which is certainly not Mayor Palmer, who on a regular basis calls out his own City Council when they dare question him or any of his cronies.

Do yourself a favor Senator Obama, if you become president, and if you create this position, please give it to someone who deserves it. That wouldn't be Doug.

G SPOT OUT

Trenton Mayor Doug Palmer says "FUCK THE CHILDREN"

I was reading the local newspaper the other day. Can't remember which one, since they both pretty much suck. There was an article talking about how this would be the last year the people of Trenton would have free access to pools.

I would rather have read how the public officials of Trenton City Government have been told they will no longer get free cars, free gas, and free insurance to drive all around the land. And I'd like to see an end to their ability to occasionally smack them up and write them off in the middle of a work day while they are shopping nowhere near the city, as Irv Bradley did recently. At least he admitted he wasn't working; I'm sure the city's insurance company liked that.

They said running of the six pools in Trenton cost the city about $300,000.00 per year and, so, the city is thinking of charging per season, per family, or 2 dollars per day. In other, rich municipalities, this is no big deal, but in a city with a government with fucked-up financial priorities, and a gang problem among the young population, the pools should remain free-of-charge. Many families in Trenton are hard-pressed to pay their bills, much less shell out more money for their children to go swimming. What if it is a really hot summer (and they all seem hot to this Canadian), and you can't afford the price of a seasonal family pass. And, what is a family anymore, besides? I'm not judging, since it takes all types, but it is no longer just a mom and dad and kids. It is Grandma, Mom, maybe a dad and a few grandkids and cousins. Do they all qualify for the family pass? Who decides?

Okay, so back to my original point. 2 bones per day per kid. So, figure your family has 5 kids and it gets really stinkin hot for a couple of weeks. 2x5x14= $140.00. That is some serious coinage. So, more than likely these kids are just going to stay home and turn on the fire hydrants (which is cheaper.) And, who is going to ask for the money at the pool, anyway? The city pools, I believe, fall under the jurisdiction of Parks and Recreation, and Cadwalader Park, the city's crown jewel, is falling into disrepair. So, who's manning the front gate, and what will s/he do if the kids refuse to pay? My bet: nothing, that's what. No one gets paid enough to deal with that sort of shit. If the police cannot protect a witness in a gang trial, methinks the pool attendant will look the other way.

That means, of course, that the tougher kids will get in free, and the nicer, law-abiding kids will not go, unless they can afford it. And either way, we'll probably end up with Thug Pool! Eventually, they will just all be filled in or let to decay like everything else in the city of Trenton.

So why has it come to this? Mismanagement, for starters. Our fearless mayor, Dougless Palmer, prefers to fight our council and citizens in court over our ordinances — ordinances he once defended — for his unconscionable buddies. Also, like a benevolent game show host, he likes to give away free cars — but only to his cronies!

But wait! There's more! Let's just put aside the recent $40,000.00 that was paid to the lawyers who represented Joe Guido Santiago, and concentrate on vehicles. Let's say there are 10 vehicles that have been donated by Dougless to the highly-paid city officials (and I think it could be triple that or more, in reality.) It costs roughly $55,000 to own one Crown Victoria for five years (click here for reference). But we can multiply that by AT LEAST 10 (and likely more), that the city is pissing away so Palmer cronies can drive to and from the city, for free, while the rest of us pay upward of $4.00 a gallon, and must maintain our own vehicles.

So here's some simple math: If 10 high paid city officials could do without their cars, since most other workers in the real world have to supply their own, anyway, then we could have free swimming for about 2 years. And if there really are at least 30 of these puppies getting used and abused and driven and blinged-up all over Stirling and Rahway and the Jersey Shore (actors, even great ones that perform in awesome Zombie films need transpo too!), then we could be swimming for up to 5 years for free!

Dougless H. ? I thought the H stood for Hunterdon, but now I think the H stands for "Help YOURSELF" (as long as you're his friend). Mayor Help Yourself! Nice middle name. "Hey," says Doug, "Come work for me! As my friend, Help Yourself to the taxpayers' dough!"

How about it Dougless, what's the deal? Are you going to park the cars and let the children swim? Not likely. Not likely at all, based on your past, unforgivable actions. Soon you will have more places to park your free cars as the swimming pools get paved over, like everything else decent about Trenton!

This Johnny-Come-Lately is going to do his best to make sure you move permanently to your mansion in Hunteron County. When and if Obama calls, someone else will be picking up that phone.

Over and out on the DownHigh!
G SPOT!