Trenton High is a Blight on Trenton

I don't think we should tear the school down, or even build a new one. Let's just board it up and put those fake windows on it. Paint some students in class sitting at their desks working on the boards, so we can reminisce about what the school that was, as we drive by. Or, why not just board it up one day with everyone in it? Like a learning time capsule.

Trenton High was rated in the "New Jersey School Report," in need of improvement for the 3rd year in a row. So let's see, it sucks, and nobody can even put a lick of paint on a 75-year-old building to save its life (a simple coat of paint might show the kids that people care about them and inspire less suckage), and we are going to build a new school? Duh, whuh?

So let's go over the options:

Let's build a new school. Well let's see, analogy time here. If I buy my son a used car and he runs it into the ground, do I reward him with a shiny new car to run into the ground?

And in this scenario, where we have a brand-new school to run straight into the ground, we've got all of the same playas on deck. How do we take any of this seriously? Didn't I see the School Super on the front page of the Trentonian wearing a clown nose? What's with that. Costume party or job?

Maybe they should gather up all the truants, give them a can of paint and a bag of hammers and let have at it. It couldn't look any worse that it already does.

Let's restore the old building: There are some advantages to the old school. For starters, you always know when it is raining outside. But if it gets fixed, you won't be able to tell if it's raining. Too bad. Considering that the building is 75 years old, and its worst problem is that it rains inside as well as outside the building, that's pretty impressive.

But why are there only two options? Here's another idea: Let's just board this bitch up! I'm having a painting party next weekend. I need some help. Can someone bring measuring tape to get all the windows sized correctly? And we'll need lots and lots of nails and plywood and a few ladders. I think we can cover every window nicely, so it matches so many of our other historic, architectural gems in the city. And we can board it up for a lot less than $170 mill. I figure we could do it for roughly $5,000.00, and we could take the rest and invest it in a new sign for the Trenton Fire Department. That sign is important, since at least 3 people a week see it lit up at night, and that can leave a lasting impression on a mindless moron for a life time.

So, let's spend our money where it counts. Board up the school!

Bottom line: fuck history, fuck the future, fuck now. We need a fuckin' cool neon Fire Deparment! Let's neon that motherfucka so you can see it from outer space. Alien firemen will be so motherfuckan jealous!!!

G Spot on the Downhigh Out!