I was watching TV the other night and I fell asleep. When I awoke there was this very professional looking infomercial playing. Two seemingly intelligent men bantering back and forth about how great it was to have a cleansed colon.
The guy who was most into it, looked like he had died, been sprayed with bronzing cream and was barely hanging on. The other guy really quizzed him about why the clean colon is so good.
I certainly don't remember all of it, in fact I remember very little, but two statements that the near dead guy made are forever emblazoned on my brain.
He said with much certainty, "Some very famous people had experienced great pain from having a large amount of feces backed up in their system."
He now had my attention, famous people with backed up dirtholes! Is there anything more exciting.
He proceeded to say, "Yes when John Wayne died he had 40 lbs of feces in his intestines, and remember Elvis Presley, well when they did his autopsy they found that he ad 60 lbs of feces backed up in his system."
That is a lot of feces. Is there any way this could be true. My weight pretty much stays the same, and I have been known to drop some monsters. Nothing like my Friend Len, who used to keep a set of shears next to the toilet so he could cut it in half on the way out. But some gargantuan droppings.
I have had days where I dropped many friends off at the pool, and never has my weight drastically changed. Possibly some people have found a way to drop a John Wayne off at the pool, and a few among us possibly cannonball an Elvis Presley. They might be able to jump higher than the rest of us with our impacted colons.
The website related to the show is: http://www.greenteaoffer.com/default.aspx. The man looks kind of like he might have been shit out of someone's ass after a very greasy breakfast. Like an old hairy sausage with eyes.
From the Throne of G SPot a brown out!
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