Canada Goose or Illegal Alien, What's Worse?

Hey! I'll start out by saying, Canada Goose or Illegal Alien, what's worse, is pretty much a toss-up. They both leave their shit everywhere, they both live in flocks, and they both speak a language I cannot begin to understand.

Living in Trenton is best described as a medium security penitentiary. That's why I'm trapped here: I can leave to do work detail and shit, but I have to be careful what areas I pass through, in case I get shanked.

Trenton is an acquired taste, kind of like a sweet pain. A sweet pain is one that hurts, but just enough to make you feel alive; in fact it kind of feels good, like a sore back after a good work out.

The Canada goose has some pros: They can fly. They actually look pretty damn good, nice coloring. They can nip the fuck out of you if you get close. Got to admire that, Trenton!

Now the Illegal Immigrant has some pros, too: They will work cheap, and under the table, saving you money and taxes at the same time! Usually they are short so you can keep a lot of them in one place in case you need them, like a cupboard or fridge, or back of a pick-up truck, with your lawnmowers. And I've come to realize that them speakin' another language is really no fuckin' problem at all, because I don't really give a shit what they have to say anyway.

Now for the cons: The Canada Goose shits everywhere all the time, and it takes over parks and lakes like crazy. They also make a lot of noise.

Illegal Immigrant cons: they don't shit everywhere, but they also can't fly. They do, however, take over the streets with their illegally registered vehicles, which the local VPCA is working to straightening out.* And they do make a lot of noise, having fun and playing loud music, spending quality time with family and friends, and having cookouts and picnics, and doing all the stuff that we used to do in the 1950s. Fuck, how the fuck do they find the time to have fun?! That really pisses me off. I mean, they work 72 hours a week or more, and they walk around with shit-eating grins on their faces. I make twice as much as 5 of those guys in any given week, and I might put in a solid 20 hours of work in my 37 hour week. What the fuck is up? I need to do more investigating on this, that is a for-sure. Somehow I got to get myself on the that Illegal Train of Happiness.

So in the end, which would I choose for my neighborhood? Tough call, since they both don't pay taxes. In the end, I would rather have illegal immigrants, since the Canada Goose is a protected species.**

G Spot out!

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*Kudos to you ma fa's. It's about time somebody stood up and kicked people who have nothing, in the balls, when they most don't need it.

** According to the president of the civic association mentioned above, "THESE PEOPEL [sic] ARE HERE ILLEGALLY AND HAVE NO RIGHTS." Caps are for emphasis, and belong to the president of the association. No rights. No rights!